Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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