Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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