Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
