Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
