I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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