Girls should come with a carfax report
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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