i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize