I hate your face
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she smelled like a LAN party
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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