halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
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CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm experimenting with sincerity
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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