so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
