oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
