Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
