wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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