yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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