do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
