please come you make the beer taste better
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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