Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
kristin has been a bad kristin
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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