No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
