She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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