nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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