Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
