Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
