Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
