I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize