i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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