My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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