what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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