And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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