So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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