i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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