Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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