I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
