Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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