how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
