My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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