I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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