you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize