well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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