ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
