Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
