We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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