I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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