fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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