Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
