this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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