Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
