he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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