I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
