I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
