cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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