I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
