i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
