Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize