her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
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He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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