Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
